How to Make a Pregnant Woman Cry

Today was my check-up with Dr. Dupre. Let me just say, it did not go how I was hoping it would. Not at ALL. Put it this way: it was all I could do to make it out to my car before I broke down in tears. Here's the story:
I got to the office with 10 minutes to spare, and shortly thereafter, an ultrasound technician called me back to do a quick ultrasound to see how big Ryan is. In the last two or three ultrasounds I've had, he's been measuring pretty big, so my doctor wanted to keep an eye on him to make sure he didn't start looking like he was going to weigh too much for me to be able to deliver naturally. He told me after my last ultrasound at 36 weeks that if it started to look like Ryan was pushing 8 1/2 to 9 pounds, we would need to go ahead and get him out. Well... I don't know why I did this to myself, but I really got my hopes up that he would look pretty big in the ultrasound today, and Dupre would say, "Okay, forget inducing next week. Let's go ahead and induce tomorrow and get him out of there." Well, according to the ultrasound, Ryan weighs about 7 pounds, 10 ounces. He's good and healthy, but I knew right then that he wasn't big ENOUGH for it to be an "emergency" to get him out any earlier than planned. Nevertheless, I still wanted to ask Dupre if there was ANY way we could just go ahead and induce tomorrow and just get it all over with. I mean, I'll only be two days shy of 39 weeks gestation. What could it hurt, right? (Oh, before I move on from the ultrasound, Baby Ryan's heart rate was 150 beats per minute, and the tech said it looked like I had a little more fluid than normal. I asked Dupre about it, though, and he said it was just on the high side of normal, which is still okay.)
Anyway, after the ultrasound, a nurse met me in another room. She took my blood pressure (115/78) and checked my weight (136 pounds, meaning I've gained 29 pounds total) and told me my doctor would be in to see me shortly.
A few minutes later, Dupre came in and reviewed the ultrasound with me. I think he could tell as soon as he looked at me how upset I already was. I knew he wasn't going to tell me what I wanted to hear. He said the baby looked good, and he thought we should leave him in for three more weeks to see if we could get him to 10 pounds. I told him that wasn't funny. He laughed. He then said that, based on the baby's weight, we would go ahead and stick with inducing next week. I then proceeded to ask him if he could pretty please induce me tomorrow. I threw out the pity card (yes, I admit it). I told him we could really use the tax deduction. I told him about my mom's cancer diagnosis and upcoming surgery. Unfortunately, neither of those reasons are good enough to keep him from losing his job if he induces me before 39 weeks without an emergency. So, that was it. I KNEW I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up about inducing tomorrow, because I KNEW he wasn't going to. But, I still got my hopes up. And they got let down.
Then it was time for him to check me to see how dilated I was. At my last two appointments, I have been dilated 1 centimeter. I laid down on the table, figuring he would at least give me the good news that I had progressed to 2 or 3 centimeters. He checked me. I'm still sitting at 1 centimeter. Seriously. He did say that my cervix is about 75 percent thinned, so there is some progression taking place, but he was a little shocked that I wasn't any more dilated, especially considering how "tiny" (his words) I am and how very pregnant I am. He said I need to go home and do lots of walking and have lots of sex. (Sorry if that's a little TMI, but I'm just repeating the doctors "orders".) So anyway, once again, my hopes were let down.
We talked for a few more minutes about the plan to induce. He said, "I did schedule you for Tuesday the 3rd, right?" I told him that I knew we had talked about it a few appointments ago, and he told me that he would go ahead and tentatively schedule me for that day, so I was pretty sure he had, but I didn't know. He told me that even though I wasn't 2 centimeters dilated yet, my cervix was thinned enough so I could just show up at the hospital at 5am Tuesday morning instead of having to go in the night before. So, that was the plan. He told me to hang in there and that he hoped to see me before Tuesday (meaning he's still hoping I'll go into labor on my own in the next couple of days), and he patted my belly before he left the room. He's never done that before. I think he was almost as bummed about all of it as I was. Almost.
I got up, got my stuff together, and opened the door to head to the check-out counter. Dr. Dupre was standing right in front of me. He said, "Hold on - don't leave yet." That's right. Uh oh. He then said, "I can't believe this happened, but..." Yep... here it comes... "somehow, you didn't get scheduled for induction on Tuesday the 3rd. I had it in my notes to schedule you, but somehow it didn't get done. I just called the hospital, and they're completely booked for inductions on Tuesday the 3rd. And Wednesday the 4th. AND Thursday the 5th." This is the part where I started hyperventilating. Okay... not really. But I sure felt like I was. He continued: "So, here's what we're gonna do. I've got you first on call at the hospital for Wednesday the 4th if anyone currently scheduled for induction goes into labor before then. So, the hospital might call you in the next few days and let you know they've got an opening for you. Otherwise, I want you to come into the office first thing Tuesday morning (8:30), and I'll check you, and then I'll go ahead and send you over to the hospital anyway and lie and tell them you're in early labor. We do it all the time." I was a bit confused. Does that mean I'm still going to be induced on Tuesday as planned (just a little later in the day), or do I have to wait and hopefully hear from the hospital that I can be induced on Wednesday? So, I told Dupre that, even if the hospital calls and tells me they have an opening for me on Wednesday, I will be at his office at 8:30 on Tuesday morning, and he WILL send me across the street to the hospital, and I WILL have this baby on Tuesday. I am not waiting another day. I can't. So he laughed. And he said "Okay".
So... in some ways, I still don't really know for sure where all of that leaves us, but I'm guessing that means Baby Ryan should still be here sometime on Tuesday. Hopefully. It's gonna be a long five days. Lord help me.

*After having said all of that, I do want to mention that the most important thing is that the baby and I are both very healthy, and that is all that really matters. As "miserable" as I am, and as anxious as I am to have my baby boy in my arms, I fully realize that every day of this pregnancy is a blessing, and I am thankful for each one of them. I know that Ryan will be born on the day God intends for him to be. I'm just a hormonal pregnant woman, and I needed to vent for a few minutes.