6-Week Postpartum Check-Up

Monday morning, I had my 6-week postpartum check-up with Dr. Dupre. Everything went well, and thankfully, I was in and out pretty quickly. I weighed 116 pounds, so I still have nine pounds to lose before I'm back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. Hopefully I'll be able to get it off soon, but with the way my eating habits have been lately, I'm not so sure... I've had the BIGGEST sweet tooth (which is not at all uncommon for me, a self-proclaimed "chocoholic", but still...).
Anyway, Dr. D came in, checked out Ryan (who was asleep in his car seat), and talked with me for a bit about how I've been doing. He said I healed up well from my episiotomy, and that I could resume all regular "activities" (just in time for Valentine's Day!). We also talked about what my options were as far as birth control. I had really been going back and forth in my heart and mind about whether or not I wanted to go on some form of birth control, and if so, what kind. I've never been on birth control of any kind before, partly because I originally didn't think I would need it. When I was diagnosed with PCOS five years ago, I was told that there was a good chance that I would struggle with infertility, and that, if anything, I would probably need medical help to conceive. Well, four months after Jordan and I got married, I found out I was pregnant with Rylee. I was quite shocked, to say the very least. I was not on any type of medication to help me conceive - it was all God. Then, the day before Rylee turned 11 months old, I found out I was pregnant with Ryan. Two pregnancies in less than two years. Needless to say, it doesn't look like I need medical help to conceive. I think God knows what He's doing. So anyway, even though I'm very thankful for my two unexpected blessings, I started talking to Jordan about the pros and cons of me going on birth control. I've never been comfortable before with the idea of being on birth control, partly because I don't like the idea of a foreign object being inside my body or taking some type of pill that could have all sorts of side effects (not to mention the fact that I've always had a difficult time swallowing pills, no matter how small they might be), but also because I just wanted to leave it in God's hands as far as if and when I got pregnant. I just never actually expected to have two children under the age of two. Although they are incredible blessings, it is also very overwhelming at times to juggle the responsibility/challenge of taking care of both of them, especially because I'm by myself with them all day during the week while Jordan is working. My body also needs a break. I went from being pregnant in 2009/2010 with Rylee, to breastfeeding her for 11 months, to being pregnant with Ryan in 2011, and now I'm breastfeeding him for hopefully at least the first year of his life. So my body has not been "my own" for over two years now. Although I know this is partly what God created me to do, it has still been quite a physical strain. So anyway, after much thought, I decided to go on the "minipill", which is safe to take while breastfeeding. In a way, I feel guilty and selfish for being on birth control. I know it clearly says in the Bible that the Lord opens the womb and the Lord closes the womb, and that children are a blessing from Him, and I feel that, by being on birth control, I'm not truly surrendering control of my life to Him. But at the same time, I believe He gives us a choice about this, and I just feel that this is what is best for me and our family overall right now. I know that, if I were to have another baby soon, God would equip me to handle it. I guess honestly, though, I just want a break for a little while. I want to be able to truly enjoy the two children He's already blessed me with for a while, instead of always feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. If being on birth control means missing out on another blessing from God, that's just something I'll have to deal with/accept one day when I get to Heaven. And I know that if it is in God's plan for us to have another baby before we feel we're "ready", He's not going to let a little pill stop Him. So anyway, ALL of that to say that I am now on birth control. Woohoo.
Anyway, that was the extent of my appointment. I have to go back in April for my yearly "female exam", but until then, I'm done with my frequent visits to my OB's office. Until next time...