Breastfeeding

I know this is a somewhat weird topic to blog about, but it's something I forgot to mention in my last post, and it's been on my mind, so I figured I'd get it out anyway. It might be awkward for any of my readers (if I have any) to read about, but I wanted to document it for myself if nothing else.
When Rylee was born, I was able to try to breastfeed her pretty much right away (as soon as the nurses finished cleaning her up), and thankfully, she took to it like a champ and never turned back.
About a month or so ago, I noticed (when I would pump) that my milk supply had started going down, but I figured it was just because she's starting to eat more solid foods, so she's not drinking as much, and, therefore, not demanding my body to produce as much. I continued to nurse her, and she always seemed to get what she wanted/needed. However, then I started experiencing the classic symptoms of pregnancy, and when I took the test and found out that I was, in fact, pregnant, it all made sense.
Because I'm pregnant, my doctor told me that I needed to stop breastfeeding immediately, because nursing causes the uterus to contract, which can lead to miscarriage or preterm labor. Thankfully, Rylee's pediatrician told us that we could start giving her whole milk when she was 11 months old, so we didn't have to switch her to formula. I stopped breastfeeding Rylee last Monday, and wrapped myself up to start the process of drying up my milk.
Thankfully, Rylee has done great with the transition to whole milk, and she doesn't seem to be having any withdrawals from breastfeeding. I, however, am. I was not prepared for the emotional loss I would experience by basically being forced to stop. (I know that might sound weird, but just hear me out. If you are or have been a breastfeeding mom, I'm sure you understand what I mean.) Now, don't get me wrong - I understand that I NEEDED to stop in the best interest of the baby growing in my womb, and I want to do everything in my power to take care of myself and the baby as best as I can. I just didn't realize how hard it would be to let go of breastfeeding Rylee. I have literally cried over it. Breastfeeding Rylee created a very special bond between her and me that she doesn't have with anyone else. I was able to do something for her that no one else could do, and that was special to both of us. Nursing her was good for both her and me, and I'm so thankful that God blessed me with the ability to do that for my baby for the first 11 months of her life. I knew she was getting close to the age to start weaning her if I wanted to, but I wasn't ready quite yet. I had really hoped I could nurse her until she was at least a year old. I knew there was a weaning process for babies, but I didn't know that it would also be a weaning process for me. I think Rylee has handled it much better than I have. As long as she has some kind of milk to drink - even if it is out of a bottle instead of from Mommy - she's good.
I, on the other hand, miss holding her close and studying her sweet face while she nurses. That's something I'll never get to do with her again, but I'm so thankful for the 11 months that I was able to nurse her. I know we both benefited from it in many ways, and I pray that I'm as fortunate with the next baby.